2 posts tagged “women”

In the past few months two women that I truly admire have left me scratching my head on my very entrenched position on virtual slavery in Second Life and other immersive online communities.

It's role play. I get it. What I've never quite come to understand is why.

Daequix Scarborough posted a composite photo that cut to the chase, inviting a discourse on a subject that represents one of the true digital divides in online culture, and perhaps one of the most controversial and likely misunderstood issues:

http://flickr.com/photos/daequix_scarborough/758894526/

On one side the image depicts a woman wearing silks, something characteristic of the Gorean rp that makes up a significant part of the cultural experiences within Second Life.  The other side of the photo depicts the same woman wearing business attire. The word "slave" flanks each half of this image. The pic's creator then pokes us with another stick, tucking the following challenge statement beneath:

" It is my opinion that in any form, women (as well as men) are slave...whether it be to one Master or many."

Talk about food for thought! I immediately "favourited" (my English teacher would beat me with another stick for trying to turn this word into a verb ... ~laughs~) this entry, and left a little comment about the powerful and provocative metaphor Ms. Daequix had presented us with. Here was her reply:

I don't always think people really get that there are many different slaves and slavers....as well as, many different freedoms. It's just in our choices.

Are we more bound and gagged by our system or by a chosen Master....are we more freed by being a kajira or no?

Enuff said! LoL..."i must the soapbox put away" (a little known quote by Yoda)

I'm so glad she opened that door a crack wider, because this is one of the things that I find myself driven to distraction by more often than not, and that I crave an honest dialogue around. Here's the "why" in my own response ...

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Actually, don't hurry on putting it away. You wield it very capably. I have to admit that this is one of those issues that has plagued me from the moment I joined SL. I never quite understood why any woman would make giving up her personal freedoms (and part of her personality?) a conscious fantasy choice in RP. This is not a judgemental statement so much as an honest curiousity and need to understand.

Part of my own bias comes from my first life where I've spent a number of years working to help free little girls from the child sex trade in various countries, including in my own. Anything that robs a woman of her right to choose and her voice essentially drives me around the bend, and that has certainly been coloured by the drama of my first life experiences with this.

It seems something entirely different to people in the context of SL, and I have to admit you are the second woman I admire who's made me do a double take on this issue in the past few months. The first is a fellow Canadian -- very bright, articulate, thoughtful business woman in first life. I've never been brave enough to simply ask her about her choices in SL at the risk of offending her, though some how I suspect she wouldn't be surprised if I did open that door.

This picture of your's was such a stark kick in the arse on the hypocrisy of our choices. On one hand there is the literal choice to rp as a slave; on the other something less obvious but in some ways more insidious because we often feel (unlike the first example) that we have no choice.

So, bravo for inviting a discourse on this! Ignore Yoda, wise old soul that he may be. I hope you -won't- put that soap box away, because you've actually hit on something that is an intrinsic part of the SL culture and I suspect is misunderstood by a lot more people than myself.

Thanks for the chance to stop and reflect, and for providing a safe forum to explore this in where some of us are simply too damned afraid to ask. Looking forward to what transpires here ...

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I truly am looking forward to the other elbows that get placed on her virtual kitchen table there, and invite you to at least peek in if not tuck a thought or two of your own in the comments section of this very thoughtful exploration:

http://flickr.com/photos/daequix_scarborough/758894526/

So thanks, Dae, for the chance to scratch a truly perpetual itch!

Note to self: get off your arse and do it.

Some things are a calling. They tickle your brain and drive you completely mad until you are no longer able to just sit there and ignore them.

A few years back I had one of those divine little moments of serendipity. You know the ones: kind of feels like waking up after a long sleep and seeing the world for the first time?

I don't have the time to do it now, because I'm on a deadline, but I keep saying to Baron how what I value most about having this blog is that in simply saying something out loud I am able to hold myself accountable.

So, this is another mental bookmark, because there are women -- amazing women -- that I want to celebrate, and in a significant way. They're women who know The Secret: life doesn't end at 21. It's just getting started, baby! Some of us are wildly happy to be in the back half of the game, because that's where the really good stuff starts to happen.

The one thing I know for sure: when you gather a group of kindred souls around the kitchen table and just start telling stories, amazing things happen.

The impulse to say their names out loud right here is overwhelming, because I want to celebrate some of the extraordinary things that ordinary women like myself have been able to accomplish later in life, but I know the moment I do that, I won't be able to help myself, because I'll have to tell you why each of them is amazing, and I cannot do that now ... ~grins~

Hate deadlines. Love Vox. It gives me a chance to get things out of my noggin' and back into the light of day, so I'll not be tempted to leave them languishing any longer in a mental closet.

Consider yourself warned. There's an army in town, and we're a handful ~winks~ There are strong women who reinvented themselves after 40 and are having an unconventional adventures.

I want to ask each of them to tell meaningful stories about each other, rather than about themselves. I want it to challenge other women who suspect this is the part where it starts to get good, but aren't quite sure how to grab hold. I want us to ask each other:

• What is your dream?
• What was your sin?
• What gave you the courage to do this?
• What would you most want to know about other women?
• What role did your mum play in shaping your path?
• What is your favourite word? Your favourite book? Your favourite mantra?
• How did your calling/adventure find you?
• Were you doubted, criticized, ridiculed for your choice?
• Did it cost you friendships and other important relationships in your life?
• How did you deal with other obligations in your life that may have been pulling you in the opposite direction from where you were feeling called? (kids, spouse, job, values)
• What one question do you think woman should ask of themselves? Of the world?
• What are the three best pieces of advice you could give to other women thinking about reinventing themselves too?

I don't want to read another magazine about fashion. I want something with meat. I want a mirror that shows me myself in the context of other women who are ordinary like me, but who have created extraordinary adventures for themselves later in life. I want a workbook that maps out a simple plan to help me "just do it!" and a posse of allies with their elbows on the table beside me, laughing and swapping tales. I want to know that's it's not selfish, and that through it I can be a good example for my daughter, because this is Really Important Stuff.

In getting sick this past year, I put a lot of things on hold, but this isn't one of the ones that I want to wait on anymore. Time to dust off it's web site, and the forum, and gather my kindred sisters together again. It's a purely selfish journey, but one I cannot seem to shake. It keeps on finding me again, so I know it must be time ...